Greetings, everyone! Yes, I know what you're thinking: Faith, you already did a post for Brooke's blog tour. But here's the thing: She got the thing up in ONE DAY and there were still a couple of places that needed filling. So I hopped in and took two, because she's AMAZING and she deserves to have the BEST blog tour.

Last week I did a spotlight and review post (you can read that HERE). But this week, I have an interview!

LES QUESTIONNES

Faith: What was the hardest thing about writing How We Rise?

Brooke: I think finding my voice was probably the most difficult thing. Finding who I was and what I had to say about whatever I'm writing about. But once you find your voice no one can take it away.


Faith: What was the BEST thing about publishing How We Rise?

Brooke: Realizing that this was, in fact, the story I was meant to write. Finding my purpose and bringing to life has been the best thing. But beyond that, I've met some amazing people in this journey that support and love me. I even met my best friend through this. Her name's R.F Gammon, don't know if you know her 😏😏😏😏


Faith: -_- okaaaaaay thank you I love you so much *sobs* <3 <3 Which character is your favorite of your own? (We all know it's Peter, but I need it from YOUR mouth).

Brooke: You know me so well. It's Peter.


Faith: Of course I know that ;) Now for some slightly random questions: Top 3 Fictional Ships?

Brooke:  Oooh okay Hawk+ Icarus from The Blood Race, Tessa+ Weston from 100 Days of Sunlight, and Alina + Mal from Shadow and bone.


Faith: I SUPPORT ALL OF THESE *sobs* Top 3 ships from your own books?

Brooke:  Ooh well... Some of these may or may not be canon but Raegan+Peter, Evie + Milo from my wip Broken Memories, and I'm going to have to go with... River + Audra from my wip The Storm.


Faith: *whispers* EVIE AND MILO ARE DA BOMB (and my favorite) okay so just for fun: Top 3 ships from MY books

Brooke: EASY BECAUSE YOUR BOOKS ARE FIRE 🔥 Drex and Dulci, Lissa and Tarek, and Greg and Ella 😏😏😏😏😏

Faith: love seeing exactly ZERO Pentegreens contenders on that list, and Daverby wants to point out that he's mad at being slighted, but...overall fairly solid and I support these choices xD


Brooke: Thank you so much, Faith, for having me on your blog. You're amazing and I love you. Let me take a second to tell you, Faith's readers, just how much this girl has supported me. When I decided this book was going to come out sooner and I had just three days to plan a blog tour, she simply said to give her two of the days and she'd post when I needed her to. Seriously this girl gave me the encouragement I needed to get this blog tour going. 💕💕💕😭😭😭

Okay so like....I'mma cry? I love Brooke so much, and I truly want to urge ALL of you to support her and read her book. It's just so beyond incredible, especially the characters, and I want her to succeed immensely on this blog tour and beyond. So go buy a copy of the book and check out her blog and send her some encouragement! She's going to go far, I know it. <3

Hey folks!!! Today was supposed to be a post about high school, but I decided to save that for after graduataion itself (haha) so today we're doing a Random post: The Music Tag (WHICH I WAS TAGGED FOR THANKS)

I was tagged by Nicole Dust and I will probably not tag anyone else so be prepared to steal this tag, wouldja?

THE RULES:
Write ten songs that come on shuffle (no skipping).
Write your favorite lyric from each song.
Tag some people.

I'm just doing my current "on repeat" playlist, because most of the songs on my "saved library" on Spotify are from 5 years ago when all I listened to was Hans Zimmer and Kristian Stanfill (help). Without further ado:

1. Coldest Water by Walking on Cars

2. Paradise by Coldplay

3. Just One Yesterday by Fall Out Boy

4. Hi-Lo by Evanescence

5. Lover. Fighter. by SVRCINA

6. Things We Lost in the Fire by Bastille

7. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift

8. Atlas by Coldplay

9. Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey

10. Fourth Of July by Fall Out Boy

It is with the UTMOST pleasure that I bring you, today: THE BLOG TOUR FOR MY DEAR FRIEND BROOKE'S BOOK!!!!!

MY REVIEW

I have nothing to say

Nothing to encourage

There is a void within me

One that screams "I DON'T UNDERSTAND"

So many questions that will never be answered

Losses

Grief

Unknowns

Loneliness

Longing for something I will never see again

Staring at past me and laughing at her idealism

Reminding myself that once I dreamed of my last summer at home being a big deal,

That my graduation was going to involve FOOD and SPEAKING and FRIENDS

That I was going to go places

And prepare for college like thousands of others before

That the friendships I made in high school would last forever

And I fight it

And I fight it

And hope feels so hard to find

And I sink to my knees

And remember

Because even though it's not the way I hoped it would be

Even if things aren't perfect

Even if graduation will be in my living room over Zoom

Even if my entire life is Zoom now

Even if I can't go to college in the fall

Even if...

I can thank Him

I can praise

because His ways are not my ways

And he loves me

He will hold me fast


Thank you Jesus
Even when you see us just as we are
fragile and frail and so far 
from who we're meant to be 
so thank you Jesus
even when the pieces
are woven and spun
Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind
Thank you Even Then
~Even Then, Nichole Nordeman

Welcome back, everyone! Anyone else's mind blown that I'm already on the fourth post of this series? It's been infinite and yet SO FAST (at least for me). I think time is fake and we're all just hallucinating at this point.

Today's love langugage is ACTS OF SERVICE! Aka the one that is possibly THE hardest thing to write into a novel. Everyone loves kissing scenes, dialogue is easy enough to incorporate, and it isn't that hard to put in some gift giving...but acts of service? Really?

This post will probably be more of a ramble than most of these have been (but let's be honest, when do I NOT ramble?) There's a lot to unpack on this topic, so without further ado, I'm jumping right in!

One thing to keep in mind is that perhaps acts of service is more than doing the dishes or taking out the trash. An example that comes to mind is the recurring theme in the Lord of the Rings of characters carrying each other. Aragorn and Boromir carry Frodo and the other Hobbits on their backs when the snow is too deep for them to wade through. Legolas and Aragorn take turns allowing Gimli to ride on their horses with them. And of course, in the big climax, we see Sam carry Frodo on his back in that iconic moment of "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." That is possibly one of the most beautiful moments in cinematic history--and I would absolutely classify it as an act of service.

From this we see that this love language lends itself to all sorts of relationships. Nearly every example that comes to mind is a friendship, family relationship, or a begrudging, building relationship. However, with a little digging, it's not too hard to find some romantic examples as far. I'm keeping this mostly to big, popular books/movies, so y'all won't feel spoiled--although of course I'll mention the title of the book at the beginning of the paragraph, and feel free to skip the example if you haven't read it.

My treatise here is this: The main way Acts of Service manifests itself in books is through love showing itself as an action.


In Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games, Katniss leaves the safe cave where she and Peeta are hiding and risks everything to go to a dangerous fight where she hopes she can acquire some medicine for his horrible wounds.

In Doctor Who's Family of Blood arc, Martha allows herself to be degraded and fall down the societal ladder all the way to the bottom, be rejected by the man she loves, and endure the risk of dying in order to keep the Doctor safe.

In Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor, there's a moment where the female lead throws herself out into what comes down to a war zone and ends up getting thrown in her room with no food for days--all to scream of coming danger to the male lead.

Sometimes it's not quite to the level of possible death. In the Mitford Series (the final book of which I am currently reading), there's a young couple who are trying to work together to create a life that they can both love. They talk together. Do the chores for each other. Put the kids to bed for each other. In the nitty-gritty of day-to-day life, they are there for each other, and they love one another. Their actions prove that louder than their words. The woman is terrified of being left behind, and her husband has a habit of running late. She's terrified every time he's late, and he ends up speeding to get to home in time, only to be caught by the police--an example of actions maybe going too far or taking a turn you didn't expect.

Because this is the thing about acts of service: They come with a sacrifice. The one doing the action is giving up something else. Maybe it's five minutes of time to vaccuum the rug before company comes. Maybe it's peace of mind as they watch the kids for the evening. Maybe it's risking life or limb to save the other. Maybe, just maybe, it's life itself.

To state the most significant example of this in any of my books would be massive, massive spoilers, but let me just say: both The King's Daughter and Holding Up the Sky have a moment with an action that becomes the ultimate sacrifice. The person doing it doesn't die in either case--but there's a question mark put on their life that they cannot escape now.

Actions should always come with a consequence. That makes the love language even deeper.

And it allows you a way to get into your characters' heads even deeper and see just how far they're willing to go for the one they love.

This is a tough topic compared to a lot of the love languages--but it's possible. You got this. So go out there and put some sacrifice and some love through actions in your books. I promise, they will be the better for it.

CAMP NANOWRIMO WAS A MESS THIS TIME AND I AM OKAY WITH THAT.

Ahem. That was probably a violent start to a not-so-violent post *shrugs awkwardly* Anyway...April was a deadening, horrible month mostly (except for my birthday, that was pretty great) so a lot of Camp NaNoWriMo got pushed to the back burner for me. I spent waaaaaaay too much of my month on drawing and not enough on writing, but at least creating was happening xD

I ended up dancing from one WIP to another. My stats include: These are not final, because I didn't want to wait until the end of the month to write this and I didn't really care if I "won" or not this time...

-A Havok short story
-Another short story for an anthology
-A few chapters of my novel Watched
-The first third (ish?) of Pentegreens book 4
-A little bit of a new story called Therapy Session (which I'm not saying anything about rn)
-Some of a short story for two side characters in Pentegreens

I set a goal of 80,000 words for Camp, thinking I'd just be editing Pentegreens 4 the whole time, but that's not what worked out. See, April was a really emotionally heavy month for me. As I kept writing the edits of book 4, getting into my villain's psyche and my protagonist's despair, I felt my writing spiraling, getting darker and darker and veering into levels that made it so I hardly recognized my own story. And at that point...I had to stop. I was able to make it a few more chapters in after that point, but I'm realizing that I very much need to slow down.

I've always liked to write books fast, especially my Pentegreens books, but I'm starting to think that it burns me out too fast to do that and it might be wiser to slow down. I wrote Holding Up the Sky over a three month period, and while it killed me to go that slow, I think I got a better quality book. AND it didn't run me raw--always a plus.

Anyway, that was a lot of backstory you didn't necessarily need xD The important thing is: I did not finish Pentegreens 4 this month. I know Clare is disappointed about that--sorry, Clare. I'm working on it. xD But hopefully there will be more before too long.

ALL THIS TO SAY! I've got some snippets!

“Hi,” I say after a moment, because I realize I haven’t actually greeted him.
He smirks. He’s usually more talkative than this, but I guess talking to me will do that to you. My mom always called him flamboyant, like the Mad Hatter. I never thought that was the right word to describe him when I was younger—I always thought he just had personality.
I look at him now and take in, for the first time, the bright red tie he’s wearing over his T-shirt. The T-shirt is a black band shirt for some metal-looking group.
Yeah, maybe flamboyant is a good description after all. I sigh.
“Hi,” he says after a moment. His voice has deepened since we were kids, and even though I’ve heard it since then, it still comes as a shock every time I hear it. “I hope you’re ready to talk. I’m very interested to hear this story.”
I glare at him. “Pushy much?”
“I could be pushier. Would you prefer that?”
“If you got any pushier, you’d be my mom.”
He laughs out loud. “Oh, I just remembered why I loved spending time with you so much when we were younger,” he says.
“Why? Because I’m such a riot to talk to?”
“You’re so grouchy! I love it!” He scratches his nose and then gives me a suddenly serious look. “But truly, Ella… I want to help you.”

(I'm writing this from a week and a half in the future, praying that this post will be entirely obsolete by the time it gets to you.)

(Note: it isn't. Oh well.)

It's been a wild couple of months, hasn't it? Time no longer has any meaning. It's like we were all saying we wanted time to slow down and then COVID came and slapped it all the way back to .25 speed. Wild times. Anyway...

Since I know you're all tired of hearing the word, I will try not to make a big deal out of it, and I'm hopeful that this post will help you even if it's not during the Dreaded Q! Today I'm sharing some tips that have helped me stay on a routine and have a schedule during quarantine, and I hope that you'll find it helpful too.

1. USE THE ALARM.

2. MAKE A PLANNER.

3. PRIORITIZE WHAT YOU LOVE.

Everyone sees the darkness.

Right now, it feels like that's all we're seeing. All we're breathing. Reality is darkness, and pain, and grief. Isn't it?

I long for peace. I long for an end to this pain. There's so much that hurts right now, and we're in a global crisis together. And for me, personally...there is pain that has nothing to do with Covid-19. I don't know about you guys, but I bet I'm not the only one.

Jesus has not changed, and yet everything has, and so there's a question mark that exists in my mind. I'm always ashamed of the question mark when it appears, for I am a Christian, and so I should never waver in my trust, correct? Am I not failing my Lord when I doubt him? Is that not akin to treason? I question his very character--yes, maybe he claims to never change, but...maybe it isn't true. Maybe he has changed in the midst of everything else falling apart. Maybe I can't trust him perfectly.

It is a lie. It is such a lie. And yet my heart thrives off lies, and I feed on them, swallowing them like chocolate. I should be obedient to my Father. I should not doubt him. I should allow my trust to overcome my fear.

But here is the truth: no one is strong enough to do such a thing in their own strength.

I turned 18 last week. Not a lot of fanfare thanks to the quarantine, but it was a nice day, and I don't mind having a slightly smaller celebration. I had a lovely day, tbh. But once the birthday festivities wear off and I'm left with just the knowledge that I'm older now, I'm left once again to the question marks.

Fear. Fear is back. For now I am an adult. I don't yet have to pay my own way, but for some reason, I could. I could do so much more. I could be working full time at this point. I could do so much with my life, and it's all because of that magic number and the fact that it's the 16th of April instead of the 15th. I am an adult now?

The question marks fill everything. As my relationships shift and change and fall apart. As my heart splits straight down the middle. As I am suddenly old, old enough to make my voice heard about who should lead my country, old enough to legally decide whether or not I want to abuse substances, old enough for this, old enough for that...

And I step back.

I breathe and it's full of water in my lungs

I'm bleeding and I can feel the blood trickling over my arms

I can't breathe

I'm drowning

NO

Because despite the doubt, despite everything...despite my uncertainty...

He is still good.

He is still God.

And he will hold me fast.

He forgives me, and he loves me. It is the great mystery of life: how could a holy God love a sinner who deserves eternal death? How could he forgive me?

And yet... he does.

And he will not let me go.

He is the certainty in a world full of question marks.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Soooooo I finished another novel because I'm like that apparently.

I FINISHED WRITING HOLDING UP THE SKY!!!!!!!!!

This novel ended up being even CRAZIER than I anticipated and the plot went all over the place and the characters are all berserk idiots who are going to get themselves KILLED if they aren't careful (or maybe just stolen away by monsters...MWAHAHAHAAAAAAA.)

In case you forgot, here's a blurb for this story (and it's updated from last time, so you'll want to read it *smirks*):

It isn't about cutting people out.

It isn't about taking bubble baths and doing facials and painting your nails.

It isn't about buying things when you don't need them or splurging or eating ice cream or going to the mall or taking a nap.

Are these things bad? No.

But are they the BEST? No.

Self-care isn't always about doing the very specific things people on the internet recommend. Because here is the thing: YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL, and so is every person on the internet. Sometimes, we seem like faceless blogs, communicating through the written word, our true voices never heard, our true faces hidden behind filtered selfies and graphic avatars. We aren't real. It's so easy to be general, to hide our true personalities, to talk in Tumblr language and ignore our needs.

But we are called to be more than that.

You are not the person on Tumblr who urges you to cut every toxic person out of your life. For them, perhaps it is the truth; perhaps they must break off relationships. Sometimes, life requires that. For your sake, for theirs...you cannot make every relationship last. But sometimes, your life will require you to work through things and heal your relationship so that, in the end, you have a stronger relationship than before. Sometimes, THAT is self-care.

You are not the girl on instagram talking about her soaps and hot baths and homemade bath bombs. Perhaps you do like baths. I tried to take one, and my bathtub is too small to truly accommodate me. Sometimes, self-care looks like taking a hot shower for five minutes and then giving yourself permission to just sit for a few minutes while your hair dries. Sometimes it's taking a walk instead.

You are not the person who shows pictures of her buying splurge when she's depressed. Sometimes, self-care looks like sitting down to make a budget for yourself, focusing on dealing with unnecessary spending and cutting out your expenses that don't make you feel better in the long-run. Sometimes, self-care is driving past Wendy's and saying "another time" instead of pulling in and getting that large Frosty you're craving.

Sometimes self-care is hoisting dumbbells while the sweat trickles down your back and you curse your weak knees.

Sometimes self-care is staying up late talking to someone you trust about what's going on so you can work through it.

Sometimes self-care is putting down the phone and taking the dog for a five-mile walk to clear your head.

Sometimes self-care is looking at you--beautiful, flawed, imperfect, aching you, carved by the hands of a loving Father, worth more than the stars in the sky--and saying, "I am me, and I do not need what everyone else claims to."

Sometimes self-care is falling to your knees and spending an hour in prayer.

Sometimes self-care is going to church, even though it's hard to get up in the morning.

Sometimes self-care is letting your Circadian rhythms take over and going to bed at 10:30, even though you like to stay up til 3 and you can function on 4 hours of sleep. Sometimes it's realizing...rest is good.

Sometimes, it's just letting yourself breathe.

We are broken people, made of flesh and bone and nerves and a thousand intricate pieces stitched together. We are not unbreakable. We are fragile, and yet some of the strongest creations in the universe.

And sometimes, taking care of ourselves entails doing the hard stuff. The things we'd rather not do. Getting up in the morning. Working out. Refusing to spend money. Being intentional.

It's not just the aesthetic things. Your life is not an internet blog. Your life is yours, and you were called to it by a Father who loves you.

Sometimes, self-care is doing what's difficult.

What was the last time I did a tag? Who even knows. But I'm doing one today! Answering all the burning questions you didn't even know you had about my writing! And guess what--I didn't even steal this one! I was tagged by Nicole Dust so. Totally legal tag time. LET'S DANCE.

THE RULES:

...started a novel I didn't finish

...written a story completely by hand

...changed tenses midway through a story

...not researched anything before starting a story

...changed a protagonist's name halfway through a draft

...written a story in a month or less

...fallen asleep while writing

...corrected someone's grammar in person or online

...yelled at myself in all caps in the middle of a draft

...used "I'm writing" as an excuse

...killed a character you based on a real person

...used pop culture references in a story

...written between the hours of 1 a.m. and 6 a.m.

...written down dreams to use in potential novels

...published an unedited story on blog/internet/wattpad

...procrastinated homework because I wanted to write

Me? absolutely not. NEVER.

...typed so long my wrists hurt

...spilled a drink on my laptop while writing

...forgotten to save my work

...finished a novel

....laughed like an evil villain while writing a scene

...cried while writing a scene

...created maps of my fictional worlds

...researched something shady for a novel

THE TIME IS UPON US and I am answering all your questions! It's going to be a good time. Especially because MY BLOG IS A WHOPPING THREE YEARS OLD TODAY.

So like...I know the world is a dark place at the moment and there's so much to worry about, but I'm pretty darn excited about this, so I'm quite happy to JUST think about my blog ;) Does that make me selfish? Probably. Can you tell I'm writing this in the middle of the night? Probably. Am I cramming? Definitely. But this is me, so why would you expect anything different?????

Without further ado or rambling...let's get into MY THIRD BLOGOVERSARY Q&A: You ask, I answer.

NICOLE
- YOUR favorite Newsies character + song? ;)
Accckkkkk. My favorite character is Davey, actually *smirks* and my favorite song is easily Once and For All.

- Rank your handwriting on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being absolute perfection.
5 in print, 6 in cursive. Honestly, it's pretty atrocious, and it's only gotten worse.

- What is your preferred form of caffeine intake?
If I had the choice? ICED COFFEE EVERY DAY. Since I don't have that available, however, it would be hot coffee. xD

- Favorite TV show at the moment? 
 The current show on the watchlist: Agent Carter!

BROOKE
What is your favorite book? (I have to ask this, it's tradition.)
*sighs heavily* I don't knooooowwwwwww. At the moment? Let's be cliche and say the Bible.
What is the worst topping for a pizza?
Hmm....I actually like pineapple (please don't murder me), every now and then. I don't like pepperoni all that much, though. 

Favorite song at the moment?
"Redeemed to Redeem" by Austin Stone Worship!

What is something good that has happened to you recently?
Oh goodness...*thinks* *hard* A couple of writing updates have me very excited (*winky winky, more details coming later MAYBE), and my manager at work showered me with compliments the day I worked with her ;)

DANIELLE JAGO