I don't want it to pass.

I mean, I don't want to be in pain anymore. I don't want people to look at me as that weak girl. I don't want to be lesser, or my life to be dominated by hurt.

But I don't want it to just fade.

"He'll erase all our pain," they say, talking about heaven.

But what if I don't want it erased?

Here's the painful truth:

It's real.

Everything you're going through? It's real.

But I don't want it to pass.

No one should want it to pass.

If you're a Christian: we can take comfort knowing that it won't just "pass".

"Put my tears in your bottle; are they not in your book?" says the Psalmist. And that right there is a comfort, far more than any statement of "passing".

Jesus feels our pain, too.

Jesus literally holds our hands. He felt everything we do. Jesus is here. Jesus is holding you, and he's holding me, and he loves us so very much.

We are His, but we go through trials so that we can become more like Him, and because this world is such an evil and cruel place because of sin.

But it's not just going to "pass".

Pass implies moving on. Forgetting. Being somewhere else.

But that's not what we should want.

Someday our tears will be wiped away and our world will change to one that is perfect. But I don't think "perfect" means we'll forget everything that happened to get us there.

I think perfect means the pain won't continue.

It won't be forgotten--that's the part we need to remember. Heaven and Earth will pass away, but God's word will never pass away.

And he has written down our pain.

It's not vain suffering, guys.

You're hurting--AND HE KNOWS.

He's felt it.

He loves you.

He holds you.

And he won't forget.

It won't pass. It won't be forgotten.

You don't suffer in vain.

Jesus holds you.

Hello, guys! I'm going to do a VLOG for a post a couple of weeks from now! So I need your questions, but there's a catch: they all have to be writing related.

You can ask me anything about my projects, my characters, my inspiration, my writing process, my particular method of screaming into the void like a dying pigeon, my writing playlists...anything! (Just as a note: I will NOT spoil anything in this video, so if you're looking for info on Pentegreens book 2...you'll have to find it somewhere else because it will not be here.)

Fire away in the comments! I look forward to seeing your questions! <3

I have a new WIP to introduce to y'all today! Woohoo!!!!!!

I haven't mentioned my WIP for the 100-for-100 yet this year. But that's okay--I'm going to talk about it now!!!! ^_^

I've been hoping to write some novellas based on Pentegreen Series characters for a long time, and with this Go Teen Writers challenge, I've finally found the perfect chance to do so. So far I'm loving working on this world--it's set in a very different place from the body of the Pentegreen series, but there ARE some very, very familiar characters taking the center stage. Because this novella is a backstory novella for everyone's favorite...

Rishatta Woods!

*ducks to hide from the insane level of shrieking* pwease don't hurt me

But anyway, back to about this novella...I decided to write a backstory about my smol sad bean boi. Because I needed to know it, partially...it's definitely easier to write a story that's heavy on backstory when you actually, erm, know the character's backstory. And Rishatta hasn't had an easy time of it.

This is a first for me in a lot of ways. My first time writing a novella with the same characters, but a different story. My first time doing a prequel. My first time attempting a tragedy.

This is a novella of firsts, too. First love, first heartbreak, first kisses, first rebellion, first attempts. Because nobody's story begins at the start of the Pentegreen series. Everyone's pasts are incredibly important, which I delve into in the later books of the series...but also here. Because I'm an indecisive goldfish. Anyway.




Have a blurb, some aesthetics, and a couple of snippets!

Blurb

Snippets

The Characters

His mental mask slid into place. He was here to bring honor to their father, nothing more. If he ran into his friends, that would be nice. But he was here for his father and his family’s name and their repute as the highest family of Venaria. In Lascogine, he would have been a prince. Here, he could be no less.

Anna cupped her chin in her hands and batted her eyelashes pleadingly. “Father!” She glanced up at Rishatta. “He’s a stone wall.”
Rishatta sighed and braced himself. For her sake rather than his own he hoped Burashna would look up, pay them a bit of attention, because he didn’t want to see what Anna would say to get Burashna’s attention. She was absolutely fearless. She was brutal.
She had no tact.

The candlelight reflected in her eyes, sparkling in the light of a thousand stars. And her aura—it was warm. Warmth radiated from her, filling him, touching his heart so that he shivered, aware of his own chill for the first time in years. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so cold—and yet he could only feel it because of the warmth.

Shai took his place on Rishatta’s right and walked beside him at an easy lope. This was his house and he could afford to be sloppy, although Rishatta had never once seen Shai be sloppy. His masks were easy and graceful, but masks nonetheless.

For whatever reason, Anna truly had allowed herself to hope that today, just once, Father would pay attention to them and act like he actually cared. He didn’t. That was the long and short of it. He didn’t care, and Rishatta had no idea what he could possibly do to make him care.

“Do you want to complain as well, boy?” Burashna didn’t even look at him.

This is the actual title of the main theme song for this book (the thumbnail is weird srry). Yes, it's a pun. Yes, I cried laughing when I realized it was a pun. No, I didn't do it on purpose. It just...works.


Additional lyrics:


We're sleepin' through all the days//I'm actin' like I don't see every ribbon you use to tie yourself to me//Lorde

We're going down, down in an earlier round//but sugar, we're going down swinging//Fall Out Boy

This town ain't big enough for two of us//I don't have the right name or the right looks//but I have twice the heart//Fall Out Boy

We'll be the greatest, they'll hang us in the Louvre//down the back, but who cares? Still the Louvre.//Lorde

Why didn't I just take back everything I said to you//take back everything I put you through//why didn't I tell you?//For King and Country


So that's it! That's my novella and I hope you liked this little glimpse at it <3

Also, I retitled book 3 of the Pentegreen series! I realized that while I liked The Winter's Chill, but it didn't fit with the rest of the series. So after some brainstorming with the amazing Nicki Chapelway, I decided to give book 3 a new title, which is:

The Soldier's Gamble