The Real Me

I am two people.

Now, I don't mean that I have multiple personality disorder or anything like that. But I have two sides, one of which is public and the other of which is private.

And I am very cautious about showing the private side to other people.

In the privacy of my bedroom, I laugh. I cry. I sing at the top of my lungs to songs with ranges I can never hope to hit the notes in, and I scream at my laptop when it doesn't work and pummel books with my fists when something happens I don't want to. (Looking at you, Hunger Games. *shifty sideways eyes* )
The best way to get to know this side of me is to be there when my computer's screen won't turn on again. Or when the printer stops working and our church service will start in ten minutes and we don't have any bulletins. Or when my favorite character soullessly dies.


When I go out, however - to co'op, to church, even here, to my blog - most of the things in that first paragraph vanish.
All I do is laugh. I am the fun person, the one who talks and talks and laughs hysterically at everything regardless of how funny it is and betrays no emotion other than that. If I'm upset about something, I bury it deep down inside.

I am not alone in this, am I?

God calls us to be his ambassadors. To let him shine through in our lives. And the private me is more than happy to do that. But when I go out in public, the whispers in my mind begin. Maybe you should just talk about the things they're talking about.

Why be weird?

They don't care, so why would you bring that up?

It's too awkward. You'll have other opportunities.

And so I talk about the things that everyone else is talking about, and the gospel never comes up in my words.

Do you ever feel this way?

It's fear that holds us back. The fear that our souls will be stomped on. The fear that if we let them see who we truly are, they won't love us anymore. The fear that we will lose friends if we talk about the truth of God's grace.

The challenge is this: Let go of the fear. Let those around you see that you're not afraid to be vulnerable. If you are willing to be genuine, to be real, to show your friends and acquaintances and the person who sits next to you on the bus and the salesman who rings you up at the grocery store and the mom whose kids you babysit that if Christ has set you free, you are free indeed.

Because who knows?

You may be offering them the invitation to throw off their masks.

And who knows what you could start?

~Faith

Comments

  1. *applauds this entire thing and totally relates* Way to go, girl ;)

    ~ Savannah
    scattered-scribblings.blogspot.com

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  2. I use to feel that way, but lately I've just been like, who cares what they think? and I've been myself. It's way more fun!

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    Replies
    1. I know, isn't it? Just let go and be yourself- people honestly appreciate it!

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  3. This was beautiful and so, SO important.

    I used to put on a facade, when I was around people AND my with my online presence. But as the years went on, I more and more took off that mask and became myself, and that's when my blog started taking off, when I got to being more comfortable outside the home, when I started being HAPPIER.

    I'm so, so, soooo much more content now because, well, I don't CARE what others think. Used to I cared way, waaay too much. Now? *shrugs* Who cares what people think? All that matters is what God thinks of me, and He MADE me, so naturally I should be myself. Why should I hide what God made?

    Life is 10000% better now that I don't care and just enjoy being myself. We are children of God, and we should NEVER be ashamed of that. Besides, people like people who are open and honest and comfortable in their own skins.

    Thank you for writing this post. It was beautiful. *hugs*

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    Replies
    1. Oh, thank you so much, Christine :)

      I want people to be happy in their skin and to be aware that God made them who they are. IMO, the sooner we can learn these lessons, the sooner we will reach a place where we are content with the way we are.

      And yes, we should never be ashamed of being children of God. I mean, we may be broken and looked down on by the world... But if we appreciate the way he has made us, we will always bring him more glory. Always.

      *hugs back* Thank you so much!

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  4. Thank you so, so much for writing this!

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    Replies
    1. Aw, you're welcome! Glad you liked it!

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  5. Wow, that's fantastic and soooooooooo what I needed to hear. Thank You!!!!!!!!!

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  6. This is an awesome post! It's taken me a while, but within this last year, I've finally come to the place of not needing anyone's approval. God is the only one who should dictate the words from our mouth, not fear or embarrassment. :)

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  7. I love this IMMENSELY, Faith. It's so true. I find myself doing the same thing, being too afraid to let others see the private part of me. But I'm working on it, trying to be better about it. Thank you so much for sharing this. <3

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    1. Oh, you're so welcome! I think that this is a problem that most people have, and I believe it needs to be lovingly confronted. I'm glad you like it!

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  8. I totally relate to this!!!! *flails*
    I'm a very outgoing person with people I know, but when I'm out in public around strangers....... I get so... BLAH. x|

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