SOME THOUGHTS ON SINGLENESS: They're probably different from the normal stuff lol
by
R.F. Gammon
- May 31, 2019
Singleness is not a waiting period.
Singleness is not a waiting period.
Singleness is not a waiting period.
Singleness is not a waiting period.
How's that for an intro, eh? *chuckles awkwardly* Apparently I'm not in the mood to split hairs today. This is a topic I feel very strongly about (you probably couldn't tell), and so today I'm here to rant a bit about singleness and the Christian walk.
First up: I am single! I have been single for my entire life! I've never had a boyfriend, serious or otherwise, and while there have been times when I've wished a little bit to have that special somebody already, for the most part, I can't even explain how freeing it is. There's so much more time that belongs to me and solely to me as a result of my singleness. I have so many opportunities. I can devote more time to God. I seriously understand where Paul is coming from when, in 1 Corinthians, he's talking about singleness and says he wishes all were like him and understood. Because being single is AMAZING!!!!!!
And that's what I want to address. I'll say it again:
SINGLENESS IS NOT A WAITING PERIOD.
Let's talk about what I mean by that.
Clearly, I don't think we should be using our time being single as an excuse to date around, see lots of people, or compromise on our standards. I'm still a Christian and I think that our bodies and our romantic relationships are very valuable, special, and important. By no means do I want Christians to toss their ideas of purity, because our world is a dirty enough place already, and we don't need even more Christians engaged in that.
However, I do want to attack--and yes, I am actually going to attack this, because it's harmful and it needs to be addressed--the idea that being single is just "a time to wait." That's our slogan, isn't it? Rebecca St. James (a wonderful singer, by the way) has a song called "Wait for Me". "Darlin', don't you know that I dream about you?" she croons before asking her future husband to wait on her. "Being single" is so often seen as a stage, a temporary discomfort before we actually meet Mr. Right and get to move on with our lives. Christian women, especially, seem to be encouraged to hover within their homes, engaging in housework and family care and not much else as they wait. Because being single is a time to wait. Wait on sex, wait on commitment, wait on your husband (I'm picking on the women here because I am one, but this could apply to either gender). WAIT, we're told. JUST WAIT.
This! Is! Harmful!
We shouldn't be making WAITING our first priority of this season. What if you were married and informed that your only goal should be waiting on children? What if you're a student and you believe that since your future is on its way, the only thing you should do is wait for your graduation? "I'm a student now, but oh man, I can't wait til I graduate!" is an okay thing to say. But what if you're just spending every minute of every day thinking not of the future you're going to have AFTER you graduate, or the life you have now BEFORE you've graduated, and instead you're just daydreaming about walking the stage to get your diploma?
You can do so, so many things as a single person. We joke about "the gift of singleness" and the Babylon Bee had an article about how it wanted to "return to sender," but honestly, IT IS A GIFT. You're single for a reason, and that reason is not just to sit and put a "I'm Worth Waiting For" sticker on your laptop.
We should value our time being single. Marriage is beautiful and having a significant other is by no means bad...but if our culture valued singleness more, both secular and Christian, think of all the things we could avoid. Think of the upsurge of purity.
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances," says Paul in Philippians 4. Let's be content to be single, folks. It's a gift.
You can do so, so many things as a single person. We joke about "the gift of singleness" and the Babylon Bee had an article about how it wanted to "return to sender," but honestly, IT IS A GIFT. You're single for a reason, and that reason is not just to sit and put a "I'm Worth Waiting For" sticker on your laptop.
We should value our time being single. Marriage is beautiful and having a significant other is by no means bad...but if our culture valued singleness more, both secular and Christian, think of all the things we could avoid. Think of the upsurge of purity.
"I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances," says Paul in Philippians 4. Let's be content to be single, folks. It's a gift.
