Apparently it's the season of blogoversaries, because everyone and their pet chinchilla is having one. Which is awesome! It's so cool to see all the people who started this journey and are celebrating it. Blogging is amazing. If you have a recent or upcoming blogoversary and you're reading this, CONGRATULATIONS! (Also have this gif of a chinchilla because WHY NOT.) 

I never knew how much I like assassin stories until I started reading these books. The "protagonist" is actually kind of a villain, and I have to admit I love him soooooo much (more on him later in this post....hee hee hee.) There's all kinds of weaponry and real-life-fighting and injuries and sneaking through the dark, and I LOOOOOOVE it. With all my evil heart. 

Our hero Leith Torren starts out book 1 as a cold-blooded assassin who can't decide whether it would be right or wrong to murder the kids giving him medical care. Our heroine Renna Faythe starts out book 1 terrified of her own shadow and uncertain as to whether she "claims" her faith as a Christian. Her younger sister Brandi is a lighthearted, carefree girl who's practically perfect. 

None of them are the same by the end of this series, and they all change in different ways. That doesn't even start on the side characters--I don't think there's a single character who's actually in the book for more than a few pages who doesn't change substantially in some way. Some change for the better, some actually change for the worst. It's marvelous, and is honestly character development goals.

The Gospel has the power to change lives. Not everyone in the church has a squeaky-clean background, and even worse, not everyone in the Church is willing to invite those with a Past in. That's part of what makes these books so wonderful. They're real to the church as it is--but they're also full of hope and beauty. There's prejudice, but it is presented as an evil within the church. That plays into what I said before about character development--EVERYONE changes.

I know, I know. I tend to get very infatuated with male main characters. But Leith Torren is something special. He's an assassin with thirty-four kills to his name and he serves the impostor king with all his devotion. 

But then he changes. 

I love Leith with all my heart. He's so cold but precious and he puts me into full-scale fangirl mode. He is my favorite thing about this series, and that's saying something. LEITH. <3333333

You need to read this series for Leith alone. 

Renna and Brandi are amazing both as individual characters and as sisters, but I almost love them better together. Tricia Mingerink manages to perfectly bring together the beautiful relationship that close-knit sisters have in all its glory--they bicker, they hug each other, they hide from danger together, they splash water on each other and tease each other about their crushes, they're best friends even though some days they just want nothing more than to bite each others' heads off...I love the two of them with all my heart. 

I know I said above that I love this aspect of them, as well as how realistic they are, but that does carry a slight problem with it: the Blades of Acktar are very, very violent. 

There's murders in the dark, talk of assassinations, and lots of wounds and bleeding. A major character is horrifically tortured at one point, and this lasts a while. An entire church is executed for refusing to denounce their faith in Jesus. Sometimes the violence feels gratuitous, but the thing is--it isn't. It's horrible and hard to look at, but it's REAL. The people who suffer in these books suffer because they profess faith in Christ, and that's not smooth sailing. This isn't violence like the Hunger Games. Sometimes, it might even be worse, especially on an emotional level. But it's there for a real reason, and it's resonating. Especially because in the real world things of equal or even worse pain are taking place for our brothers and sisters in the church. 

So if you can handle some very dark violence that's not glossed over but is also not glorified, I ABSOLUTELY recommend the Blades of Acktar!!!!!!! 

Chat with me! Have you read the Blades of Acktar? If so, what did you think? Are these books on your TBR yet? Do you have any ideas for future posts you'd like to see me do in the Great Christian Fiction series? Talk to me in the comments!!!!!! 

Which means we're rich in money but not rich in time. 

We sit in front of screens and fritter away 

The thing that makes us all equal

No matter how much is in your bank account

Everyone gets 24 hours a day

Dollar signs make us the 1%

But in reality we're among the 100%

24 hours a day and you could die at any time

How you spending that currency? 

Are we all just millennials, 

throwing away our lives, 

Partying and claiming we live like there's no tomorrow

When we really know that we're living like we have a thousand years?

God gives his people a chance every day

To make a difference, make a change, 

Make the world a better place. 

And we might be poor (heaven knows I am, 

Even with my smartphone and computer and expensive keyboards)

but in time everyone's equal. 

Time is a gift. Time is a currency. 

Time can't be wasted. 

So how will you use your time? 

Put down the phone, turn off the computer, stop doing things that don't matter

It's time to live like there is no tomorrow

Like every breath could be your last

It's hard

It's not natural

But it's worth it.

Time is a gift.

We're all equal in it.

Let's treat it like so.

~Faith

Hey everyone! Today's post is going to be about effective ways to debate on social media. It'll be fun, and hopefully it'll be helpful. Let's jump in! 

Now look back at that paragraph and imagine if I'd worded it more like this: 

"I hate what social media does to people. It makes them stupid. Social Justice Warriors are a plague on this nation and they offend me. Facebook and Goodreads are the only platforms I'm on and just those trigger me! I hate social media and the people on it. Stupid people." 

Or like this:

"Bleeping bleep bleeps! Social media is bleeping bleep bleep and I think all the bleeping people on it are out to get me. Bleeping bleep and bleep. Bleep."

These may be bad examples, but they're different approaches to the same way of discussing things using social media. In person, it's easy to remember that you're talking to a living, breathing human, because you can see their face and they can tell you in real time when you've hurt their feelings. But when you're debating over the internet, something happens. We forget that the person we're talking to is a real person. We forget that words have an impact on them and can make their stomachs roil and cause them to lose sleep.

I think the most disturbing thing I've ever seen on the internet was when I was reading through the comments on a YouTube video for a song from Les Miserables. There were a lot of civil debates happening about who the best version of that character was, whether the scene did the song justice, and more. But then I happened upon another comment. I don't remember what it was that the original person said, but someone really, really didn't like it. 

When I clicked the "view replies" there were two. The first one said: "Just kill yourself." The second said, "Yeah. Please kill yourself."

Um, I'm sorry. WHAT?!!!!!! 

This is a prime example of what happens when you forget who the person on the other side of the computer screen is. You're talking to another person. But somehow it is so, so easy to forget that and somehow tell them they should commit suicide. 

This is a super long introduction, but my hope is to show you all just how much this matters. It may not be life or death in your case, but it could carry far more weight than you'll ever know.

Here we go. Some tips and tricks for how to effectively debate over the internet.

No, hear me out.

Sometimes, it's worse rather than better to talk to somebody. I know. Every day when I scroll through Facebook or Goodreads, I see something that makes me want to put my thumbs on that phone screen and just LAY. IT. DOWN. Some person with more time than brains makes a comment that makes steam come out my ears, and I want to enlighten them. And believe me, I could. I work really hard to not get snarky.

But people will not always listen.

No, much of the time, when someone makes a stupid comment or posts something offensive, it's time to back off and just let them live with it. Someone else can engage for you. If I'm on Facebook, what I'll do in that sort of a situation is leave an angry face emoji on their comment and move on. Ain't nobody got time to engage with every single offensive comment out there.

However, there are times when you MUST engage. If you've decided that this particular comment is worth it, go for it.

I'm going to share an example of a time when I started to engage and then backed off. On Goodreads a little while back, a friend of mine posted a review of a book featuring a controversial opinion stated very bluntly. The first few comments on this were civil and thanked her for putting her words out there.

Then the world blew up.

I think by the time that thread finally got shut down, there were 290 comments on this one review on Goodreads. Now, guys, Goodreads is not the place to do debates on social issues. It's a site for sharing books. You want a debate, you go to Twitter. But for a couple of days, that was literally the only thing I saw on my Goodreads feed. More people cussing, screaming, and beating each other up. On both sides of the argument.

That is painful to watch.

I only commented a total of three or four times. Once was to answer a particularly rude question asked of one my friends, and another was to ask people to stop cussing each other out because I was sick of it. Otherwise, while I read through all the comments and thought about what I might say, I stayed out of it. In most situations, that's the wisest thing to do.

However! Sometimes you will want to or even need to comment. Here are some tips for what to do when that happens. 

(Aka Me giving you these questions.)

I saw a thread a few days ago on a pro-life article on Facebook where a woman was being snarky about an unrelated issue, and a bunch of people jumped on her to tell her exactly why she was wrong. She snarked right back at them, until the moment that all of them seemed to miss, the moment when she mentioned that she was raped by her abusive boyfriend and got an abortion as a result.

No one talking to her even mentioned this. They didn't stop to show sympathy. They kept right on telling her exactly why she was wrong.

If somebody shares something personal with you (even if it's on Facebook, shared by a stranger,) they are being vulnerable and setting themselves up for pain. This is the part where you show sympathy (not pity; there's a difference there.) You say "I'm so sorry." You ask them if they're doing okay. You show them that YOU CARE. 

And you don't say that they only think that because they're an idiot. You don't talk down to them. If you're speaking to a friend, it's okay to use terms of endearment, but when you're debating with a stranger who could go hostile, don't use words like "sweetie" or "hon" or anything like that. It is so condescending, and it always, always hurts far more than it helps.

You may forget that you're talking to a person. It looks like you're talking to an avatar with a picture of a dog, or just watching words scrolling past as you fire back responses. But on the other side of the screen is a real, physical, HUMAN person with a heart and feelings that are just as easily damaged as you. 

Being "offended" is overused these days. Everything is "offensive" in some way. But this doesn't necessarily have to mean that your fragile ego has been damaged or you're "triggered." No, what it means is that it's time to back off. Remember you're talking to a human.

Sometimes, when I'm really fired up by something I've seen on soc. med., I'll pull up the comment form and write out a whole scathing, sassy rant about how I feel. I'll read back over it, come to the conclusion that I cannot in good conscience put this up without a lot of people jumping on me, and then delete the whole thing and move on WITHOUT HITTING SEND. 

This is a good method for things that you don't really want to engage on. However, it works on things you're actually sending, too.

When you've written a response to something and you're preparing to send it, read it over and ask yourself these questions:

• Am I prepared to respond with love to any lashback I get from this statement?
• Would I be pleased to have my parents/significant other/spouse/best friend (or any person who you know agrees with your position) read this comment? 
• Would I be pleased to have a friend of mine who DOESN'T agree with me on this issue read this comment and see that this is how I feel about it?
• If people get mad at me for what I say here, am I justified?
• Will publishing this response make things better, or is it just to make myself feel better?

Eventually, a point will come when you need to stop talking. You've got a class to get to. You're sick of this person cussing you out. You're ready to just back down, please.

It's human nature to want to get in the last word. However, in an internet debate, you can't just drop the mic and then walk away before the other person can say something. They ALWAYS have another chance to say something else. If you're trying to get in the last word, they'll shoot something back and then you'll have an unending fight. This is the LAST thing you want. DO NOT get pulled into trying to get the last word in. It doesn't work.

When you're ready to be done, just stop. Don't make any apologies. Don't call the other person a troll (that is pretty much the worst thing you can do in this situation, because they will NEVER leave you alone.) Simply type up one last thing for them to think about (if you want to; you don't have to do this) and set down the phone or close the window. You do not owe it to them to keep arguing. If you're done, you're done. This is different from a face-to-face discussion. In that case, you want to let the other person decide when they're done. But on the internet, if you're done, go ahead and be done.

When I was brand-new to Facebook (in June or maybe July of 2017) I stumbled across an article that lots of people were mad about. Basically, a woman at a public workplace had offered to pray for a non-Christian co-worker. If I'm remembering all the details correctly, he refused, and she was threatened with a lawsuit for bringing her "toxic religion" into the public workplace. The question posed by the article is "Should this woman have had the right to offer to pray for him?"

There was one person in that thread trolling all the evangelicals who responded, getting into long, meaningless arguments with him. Here's my response to that article, and his response to my comment.

This comment didn't seem to really have anything to do with my response, and I didn't have the time or interest in getting in a fight with this guy. There were plenty of others willing to do that. I was uninterested. So what did I do?

I simply walked away. 

I gave no response. I didn't let this person jump on me. It's not hard to do; it gets easier with practice. If you can't stand the heat, get away from the fire.



One last tip that is HUGE:

DO NOT surrender.

If you are talking to someone who does the opposite of what I'm telling you here--cusses you out, attacks you personally, treats you like you're not human, keeps trying to fight with you--do NOT just back down to make them leave you alone. 

If their arguments are genuinely compelling and you say, "Huh, I see your side better now," it's okay to concede that point. If someone actually changes your mind through the intelligence of their arguments and you actually believe differently thanks to someone's discussion with you, that's different. You can tell them that. You can change your thinking.

BUT. If someone is simply trying to intimidate you into backing down, DON'T FALL FOR IT. 

That is what they want. That is what they are trying to do to you. They want you to throw up your hands and say, "Okay! Okay! You're right after all! I'm sorry!" They want to hear that they can keep going in this fashion, attacking people and using bad tactics. 

If this person is the one talking to you, don't give them that victory. If YOU are that person, it's time to stop and rethink your tactics. It's time to work to change the way you speak. You wouldn't want to be a bully in the real world; don't be a cyberbully.

A few more miscellaneous tips: 

• Don't just regurgitate other people's arguments without actually doing the research yourself and formulating your own opinion.
• Don't curse. It makes you look less intelligent and makes people less willing to talk to you.
• Don't stalk pages of people you disagree with just so you can troll their posts. It's mean and rude and only makes people hate you.
• Do be kind. Try to assume the best of people and give them the benefit of the doubt.
• Be aware of the lack of body language and go out of your way to be friendly.
• Choose a friendly-looking profile picture! 
• Be intentional and kind, and if you're somewhere like Facebook, "like" all the comments of the person you're talking to, even if you disagree.
• Don't use technical language! 
• Move your conversations to some form of Private Message (Facebook Messenger, Goodreads mail, Google hangouts, etc.) as soon as possible. 

I hope this post has been helpful for you! What's your favorite tip for posting on social media? Have you ever seen great results from a conversation online? Do you usually engage, or do you usually avoid the fire? Talk to me in the comments!