Welcome back, everyone! Anyone else's mind blown that I'm already on the fourth post of this series? It's been infinite and yet SO FAST (at least for me). I think time is fake and we're all just hallucinating at this point.

Today's love langugage is ACTS OF SERVICE! Aka the one that is possibly THE hardest thing to write into a novel. Everyone loves kissing scenes, dialogue is easy enough to incorporate, and it isn't that hard to put in some gift giving...but acts of service? Really?

This post will probably be more of a ramble than most of these have been (but let's be honest, when do I NOT ramble?) There's a lot to unpack on this topic, so without further ado, I'm jumping right in!

One thing to keep in mind is that perhaps acts of service is more than doing the dishes or taking out the trash. An example that comes to mind is the recurring theme in the Lord of the Rings of characters carrying each other. Aragorn and Boromir carry Frodo and the other Hobbits on their backs when the snow is too deep for them to wade through. Legolas and Aragorn take turns allowing Gimli to ride on their horses with them. And of course, in the big climax, we see Sam carry Frodo on his back in that iconic moment of "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." That is possibly one of the most beautiful moments in cinematic history--and I would absolutely classify it as an act of service.

From this we see that this love language lends itself to all sorts of relationships. Nearly every example that comes to mind is a friendship, family relationship, or a begrudging, building relationship. However, with a little digging, it's not too hard to find some romantic examples as far. I'm keeping this mostly to big, popular books/movies, so y'all won't feel spoiled--although of course I'll mention the title of the book at the beginning of the paragraph, and feel free to skip the example if you haven't read it.

My treatise here is this: The main way Acts of Service manifests itself in books is through love showing itself as an action.


In Suzanne Collins' The Hunger Games, Katniss leaves the safe cave where she and Peeta are hiding and risks everything to go to a dangerous fight where she hopes she can acquire some medicine for his horrible wounds.

In Doctor Who's Family of Blood arc, Martha allows herself to be degraded and fall down the societal ladder all the way to the bottom, be rejected by the man she loves, and endure the risk of dying in order to keep the Doctor safe.

In Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor, there's a moment where the female lead throws herself out into what comes down to a war zone and ends up getting thrown in her room with no food for days--all to scream of coming danger to the male lead.

Sometimes it's not quite to the level of possible death. In the Mitford Series (the final book of which I am currently reading), there's a young couple who are trying to work together to create a life that they can both love. They talk together. Do the chores for each other. Put the kids to bed for each other. In the nitty-gritty of day-to-day life, they are there for each other, and they love one another. Their actions prove that louder than their words. The woman is terrified of being left behind, and her husband has a habit of running late. She's terrified every time he's late, and he ends up speeding to get to home in time, only to be caught by the police--an example of actions maybe going too far or taking a turn you didn't expect.

Because this is the thing about acts of service: They come with a sacrifice. The one doing the action is giving up something else. Maybe it's five minutes of time to vaccuum the rug before company comes. Maybe it's peace of mind as they watch the kids for the evening. Maybe it's risking life or limb to save the other. Maybe, just maybe, it's life itself.

To state the most significant example of this in any of my books would be massive, massive spoilers, but let me just say: both The King's Daughter and Holding Up the Sky have a moment with an action that becomes the ultimate sacrifice. The person doing it doesn't die in either case--but there's a question mark put on their life that they cannot escape now.

Actions should always come with a consequence. That makes the love language even deeper.

And it allows you a way to get into your characters' heads even deeper and see just how far they're willing to go for the one they love.

This is a tough topic compared to a lot of the love languages--but it's possible. You got this. So go out there and put some sacrifice and some love through actions in your books. I promise, they will be the better for it.